Like a (Holy?) Virgin
Közreadom: az Úr 2010. évében én, azon dokumentumok alapján, amiket a Popkirálynő reám Testált folyó év november 7-én, a koncertje előtt nem sokkal – mely Koncert megváltoztatta Jelenünket, Múltunkat és még a nosztalgiánkat is, de sajnos a sör árát nem befolyásolta pozitívan, sőtinkább dehogy, pedig most nagy szükségem lenne folyékony kenyérre, hogy a tegnapi macskajajt kikúráljam…
A dokumentumokról: Nem tudom ezek mik, egy részük mintha kinyomtatott email lenne egy párhuzamos jelenből / jövőből, a többiről sejtéseim sincsenek, tippelni meg nem merek. A Nagy Cthulhu vagy a kutatók görbítik talán a teret s időt? Mindegy, én megkezdem ezen dokumentumok kiszivárogtatását, hátha pozitív irányba befolyásolom a történelmet (de inkább a sör árát, ezer forint egy korsóért bazmeg, hát nem vagyok én turista!). Íme az Első dokumentum:
HÁJLI KONFIDENSÖL DATA FOR
From: S. Germanotta < secret agent#88-777-18, codename: „GAH GAH (OOH LAH LAH [SUNÁZNÁM])”, email: „Semail@example.com” >
To: John Doe, Super Secret World Agency Corporation < email: ******@*************.***.**.** >
Subject: Attila József and the (Well-)Hung Aryans
Our operations have been in full swing for more than three years now, but our goals are still far away. We are not ourselves just right now. Where’s the solution? Pop music doesn’t seem to have any exploitable fields now. We can get away with anything – but that takes away all the fun from it.
I’ve been thinking about it quite some time ago – that Hungarian poet’s words: „A hetedik te magad légy” – or, „you shall be the seventh one”. David Fincher came to the very same conclusions in is movie (Se7en). My mission is to run an investigation in Hungary, under the guise of my world tour (Re: „Operation Monster Ball”). It can NOT be a coincidence that a local channel (Viasat3) airs that very special film on 8th of November, at the very next day after my concert in Sportaréna. Even it’s a re-run, I must pay a visit to the TV station at 22:30. Also, these Hungarians MUST be suspecting something! FEM3 is a gender-pro channel, but their programme is more than suspicious. At ten P.M. they show a „comedy” called Meg vagyunk lőve – but look, it’s original title is Life Without Dick! All this at the day after my concert! Either they are referring my post-op state (living without a dick, or penis as you call it), or they KNOW it. Sarah Jessica Parker, the flag-bearer of the Szingli Movement stars in it, along with Johnny Knoxwille, that Jack-Ass guy. Also, at 23:50, the very same channel has a strange little reality show on it: The Secret Lives of Women. If I’d be Woody Allen, I shoulda say, „Everything you NEVER wanted to know about women” – but let us not be so self-referential. Let me declare, I have NO fear from my Hungarian fans – I have, however, my doubts about our control of the media there. I don’t want to give interviews, except a local blog – it will be small but important, as it is hosted on a literary site called prae.hu. The blogger may be dangerous, always referring my Dark Activities, he also had an article about Madonna’s illuminations – but once he’s drunk ony my laced cocktails, he’ll be a man of ours, take my word for it. Anyway, as I’ve said, I’ll do a small gig there and I’ll find out which side they’re on. To blur the limits between man and woman, adult and child, we have to take care and control, even in the lowest of countries.
Wish me luck.
Ennyi. Nem tudom mi fontos van ebben, de holnap folytatjuk a szivárogtatást. Én persze ma is fogom, de már csak a kocsma vécéjében :))) EGÉSSÉG!!!
Itt a második dokumentum:
The First Book Of Gah Gah,
as it was dictated to S. Germanotta on her 9th Birthday
21:35, Preface for the preface.
I'm writing this on My 9th birthday between noon and 1 p.m., as it has been revised on the 9th November. It should Be read aloud at the same day, in the year 2010. The Author called himself Gah Gah, and claimed to be a messenger from the forces ruling this earth at present, as will be explained later on. How could he prove that he waz in fact a being of a kind supérior to any of the human race, and so entitled to speak with authority? Evidently he must show no ledge and over such as no man has ever been known to possess - and he did showed his no ledge chiefly by showing me the winning numbers of next week's lottery, thus providing me with wealth and taste. The study of these passages necessarily demands supreme human scholarship to interpret- it needs years of intense application and is best studied under the Force of Napalm. On the other hand, the language of most of the Book is admirably simple, clear and vigorous. No one can read it without being stricken in the very core of his being. The more than human over of Gah Gah is shewn by the influence of his Master, and of the Book, upon actual events: and history fully supports the claim made by him. These facts are appreciable by everyone; but are better understood with the help of the Force of Napalm.
21:10, The The Life, The Universe and Everything.
Dis Buk explains the The Life, The Universe and The EVerything. The elements are Nuts- -SpaceNuts and Jihad, any point which has experience of these possibilities. (This idea is for literary convenience symbolized by the Nuts. Jihad is symbolized as a Winged Globus Mustard at the very heart of Nuts.) Every event is a uniting of some one gonad with one of the experiencez possible to it. So, each one of us has an universe of his own, but it is the same universe for each one as soon as it includes all possible experience. And let us not forget that only men have IRL "nuts" (squirrels do not count even if they are holding nuts!!4). In our present stage, the object that you see is never the same as the one that I see. For instance, if a friend is walking between us, you see only his left side, I his right; but we agree that it is the same man, although we may differ not only as to what we may see of his body but as to what we know of his qualities. This conviction of identity grows stronger as we see him more often and get to know him better. Yet all the time neither of us can know anything of him at all beyond the total impression made on our respective minds. Gagaism has none of this. If the person possessed by Gah Gah walks between two friends, each person sees it differently. It's in the clothes, baby!
20:55, The New Aeon of GaGa.
The tHird chapter of the BOok is diffiCult to understand, and may be very repugnant to many old people born before the date of the book (March, 1995). However, old people are not my target audience. My mission is to tell the Kharacteristics of the Period on which we are now entered. Superficially, they appear appalling - now we as one, see some of them already with terrifying clarity. But fear not in, even the dark! Observe for yourselves the decay of the sense of sin, the growth of innocence and irresponsibility, the strange body modifications and the reproductive instinct with a tendency to become bisexual or epicene, the childlike confidence in progress combined with nightmare fear of catastrophe, against which we are yet half unwilling to take precautions. We are children (even if not all of us are boys). How this new Aeon of Haus Of GaGa will develop, how the Child will grow up, these are for us to determine, growing up ourselves in the way of the Law of GaGa under the enlightened guidance of the Force of Napalm.
Basszus, ez kezd unalmas lenni. Hadd ajánljak valamit: a retekklubbon az István, a Király hátteréről szól a XXI. század aktuális része fél tizenkettő előtt öt perccel.
November 10, este, íme a Harmadik dokumentum:
From: S. Germanotta < secret agent#88-777-18, codename: „GAH GAH (OOH LAH LAH [SUNÁZNÁM])”, email: „Sfirstname.lastname@example.org”>
To: Agent Smith, The Matrix < email: email@example.com >
Subject: Re: Operation Monster Ball
Hi there Mr. Smith!
Being an agent is not a big deal for me, contrary to what You’ve been saying. In fact, it’s quite easy. I never thought I could pull off all this shit – I mean, those Masonist / Illuminati references in my stage shows. You and others have been complaining, like, why do I call my fans „Little Monsters”. Well, they ARE monsters. I could call them anything I want, freaks, scumfucks, anything, they’s still follow me. They think they get the inside jokes – but the real joke is ON them : DD And I’m getting paid for all this, thanks to you! Back to the subject You asked about. Operation Monster Ball is going well. Even its title is a huge joke, I mean, everybody thinks it’s a ball for monsters, a little operatic thing – but NOT! I titled my tour after seeing a Wapanese children show which featured a certain bear with huge (i.e.: monster) balls : DDD That’s the real Ugly Truth, and not that stupid comedy that HBO airs at 21:20.
Even my fans have stupid questions. One of them wanted to know if I see M1ley Cyrus as a 8arbie-doll rival: I answered a2 you c0nditioned me, Mr. Smith: I said that Hannah Montana is for the young, and I’m for the older cHildren – But I dO keep in mind that we are the same ilk. Mr. Smith, you’ve planned and Canned it soooo well: all the youngsters are flocking to the new scarlet women’s concerts! Perry, Montana, that High School Musical girl…and ME, of course. With our subliminal message-laced music we’ll infect the children’s brain, regardless if they are boys or girls. Harry Potter was plain occult, so many parents were scared. But they accept Hannah / Miley, and they won’t notice the hidden stuff, like Montana’s hometown, which is called „Crowley Corners”. GENIUS programming, Mr. Smith :DD And there are still some dorks who think I am the Satanic, while Perry, Cyrus and that other girl are the „good” ones, while they don’t suspect anything if the lead girl’s hometown is named after the chief occultist of the 20th Century!!! I’m laughing right now, I’m laughing with that evil transvestite laugh of mine!!!444 four four
The Hungarian commercial channels kmow it better. TV2 is blurring the limits with Kidulthood, a movie where the protagonists are neither „kids”, nor „adults”. Unfortunately, due to its controversial and violent content, they can only show it at the unholy time of 2:10, while MGM gets away with that old macho bore, Robert Mitchum, at the family-friendly eight P.M. Our influence is not strong enough.
About the money: I can never be Too Rich – not in the way Doris Duke was. Not that I wouldn’t like my life turned into a TV-serie, but I’d rather opt for a 8-hour Movie. 1 have the title for this movie, too, it should be called Satan-Tango. I know that there wa2 another 8-hour ep1c with the same title: but I’ll buy th3 right5 when I’ll arrive in Hungary. I have to go now, Smith. See You later, or as we say in the Corporation:
S.G. / L.G.
Még mindig nem tudom mi olyan nagy szám ezekben az iratokban. Talán valami kódolt üzenet van bennük? Mindegy, megint nekem kell a napot megmentenem. Este tizenegy előtt öt perccel egy olyan horrort ad a Film+, amire még Gaga is csettintene. A címe Vámpír angyalok, és a Pengéből már jól ismert közhelyeket bolondítja a B-kategóriás akciók koronázatlan hercegével, Lorenzo Lamasszal. A vérszívók köztünk élnek és együtt buliznak velünk, és köztük is vannal a rosszak…meg a még náluk is rosszabbak. Holnap este ugyanitt folytatjuk!
Már megint ez a kézmozdulat o_O
I aM often asked why I end my emai1s with thi2 „Eloise: Für3li5e”-shit. Well, it's not just the emails, retarDs. No matter what i say or write, I always begin with Dem three words. Why, how else should I begin? What other greeting kould be so glad? Eloi2e. is great name for a Pomeranian sHowdog (more so if it has pápers too). Fürelise is an excellent musical piece, althóugh it would be much better with my autotuned vocals - and Fhtagn is Great Old CThulhu's faVe word. These three make up the greeting2 of th3: Brethren 0f the Inner H0use of GaGa. A persoN says to his/her brother, "Eloise". The other answers with "Fürelise". Then they just say the last word tUgether. It's quite fucking Simple, After all, now isn't it?
I write this For those uninitiated who have not read my not-so-long but very sacred tome, The Book of Gah Gah, or for +hose wh0, reading it: hav3 s0mehow failed to understand its perfection. For there are Many matters in this Book, and the gland tidings are forever here and there, scattered throughout the Book as if the Starz are scattered through the field of Night. Rejoice with me, all ye people! We are all free, all independent, all shining gloriouzly, each one a radiant world. Is not that good tidings?
Here come2 th3 first call of the Great Goddess Babylon: who is th3 infinite in wh0m all we live and moVe and have our dinner. Hear Her first summons to us men and women and dolphins too: “Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of lov3. I am above you and in you. My time is yours. My ecstasy is yours. My Blue pill is also yours. My jöy is to see your joy on the dancefloor. Don't care about the Paparazzis of Napiszar or Partyphoto, JUST DANCE!!!4 four” Later She explains the mystery of sorrow: “For I am divided, for F’s sake, and for the chance of reunion. Be goodly therefore: dress ye all in fine apparel; eat rich foods, not just that KFC crap and drink Dr. Pepper and wines that foam! Also, take your fill and will of love as ye will, when, where, and with whom ye will!” This is the only point to bear in mind: with POP life, every act must be a ritual, an act of worship, a sacrament. Live as the popstars, today's kings and princes of this world have always lived, as masters always live; but let it not be self-indulgence - make your self-indulgence your religion. Because in the House of Gaga, you are your own religion!!!4 four fourfour But I am the main character, and you, my Little Monsters, must come to
When you drink and dance and take delight, you are not being “immoral,” you are not “risking your immortal soul”; you are fulfilling the precepts of our - your! - holy religion. Do not lower yourself and destroy and cheapen your pleasure by leaving out the supreme joy, the consciousness of the Peace that passeth understanding. Do not embrace mere Victor or Victoria, for s/he is Babylon Herself, specially concentrated and incarnated in a human form to give you infinite love, to bid you taste even on earth the Elixir of Immortality.
Eloise! Fürelise!! FHTAGN!!!